I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
