I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
