....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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