its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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