I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
