So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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