I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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