Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
