I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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