After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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