I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize