Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
