HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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