Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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