i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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