He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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