she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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