what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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