I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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