you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I love you. Go after that dick
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
