I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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