Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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