Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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