so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
