they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my shit smells like andre
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
