he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you inspire me to be a worse person
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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