At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
