Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it