that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave