rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize