Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
