am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
