Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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