Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
