@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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