Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
