he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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