I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
