I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
