alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
