I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
