Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
