How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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