he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
