The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
