I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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