i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
