bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
