i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize