Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
