weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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