this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
