I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
