Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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