p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
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I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
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Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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