forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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