I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Couch. On fire.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
