i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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