So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
