She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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