We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
