Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
