what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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