marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
