Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
