so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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